Don't you send me to vm
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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