Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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