just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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