You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
