unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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