What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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