TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
