no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
