Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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