he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
