I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
