I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
