batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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