I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dicks are not precious.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
