There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
