Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
