dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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