You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
