why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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