i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize