Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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