Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
