Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize