They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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