My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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