So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
