I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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