I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she told me i tasted like america
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
