I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
