What did we do last night that was yellow?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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