well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
