we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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