omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
