Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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