just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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