Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The power of my boobs compel you
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dicks are not precious.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
