You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
