I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
