Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
