Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
