I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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