i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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