Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I didn't shave. On purpose
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
