who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
