I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
