I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
