I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
