I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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