I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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