Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
