He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
