Buhtt sex?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize