FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
