shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
