just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
