The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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