i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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