did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
