The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize