Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We're too hungover to prance.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
