I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize